One Month Later

I cannot believe we adopted Milli a little over a month ago.   Time has really flown by, although she seems like she has been with our family for a very long time. She keeps me very busy from the time she wakes up to the time she finally falls asleep.
She seems to be adjusting to her new life.  We had our one month post adoption visit recently, and our social worker said he thought she was doing very well with us.  Even though I thought she was doing well, it was nice to get validation by a professional.  There are many things she has improved upon and others that are not progressing as fast.  Compared to four weeks ago, she definitely gives and receives affection more readily.  She loves being carried and picked up all day long, which has led to severe back pain for me.  I was finally able to put her in the jogging stroller today for the first time, so hopefully that will help.  She seems to be able to understand English a lot more than she can articulate.  We use our own version of sign language, and she is always so happy when I decipher her gestures.  It's like playing charades every day.  Luckily I love games so it works for me. She doesn't get mad too often and when she does, she only cries and has never had a fit.  Bedtime is still a struggle because she still cries almost every night.  I'm thinking it's her way of soothing herself. We are still figuring out where to sleep.  It went from her bed, to Gus' lower bunk bed, to the floor in her bedroom.  One night last week, she woke up so I laid down there with her.  I fell back asleep only to wake up in the morning with our cat Samantha sleeping on the bed all to herself and looking smugly at us humans sleeping on the floor like she was the superior being.  Luckily, for the last two nights, Milli has decided to sleep on her bed but on top of the comforter with her head toward the foot board.  I'll try anything at this point to make her happy at bedtime.  Because it takes so long to get her to sleep, it cuts into my Gus time which makes us both sad.  He's feeling neglected during this transition, which he has a right to.  I never thought it would be this hard to give attention to two children.  I don't know how my mom did it with six kids, but she was the most amazing mother in the world.
We have taken her to our church the last two weeks, but have kept her with me.  She sits on my lap the whole time without talking.  She is so good.  She has also gotten very good at going shopping and rides in the cart.  She is so funny about her clothes though.  I take her and have her pick out things, but when she gets home, she says she doesn't want to wear them.  She wants to wear dresses all the time.  She is very fussy about her shoes.  Going to Stride Rite was quite the bad experience.  We had to leave and come back because she was so traumatized at getting her feet sized and trying on one pair of shoes.  We ended up going back and buying a cute pair of pink gym shoes, but she won't wear them.  She says no to all the boots.  I don't know how to tell her she can't wear flip flops in the snow in Mandarin.  Hopefully she will figure it out. 
We have had visitors every weekend since we returned, and she has embraced everyone that she has met.  Our families have been amazing welcoming her into their lives and we are truley blessed that she has responded to their love. I think they have all been amazed at her also.  She just soaks it all up like she can't get enough of it. 
Overall, we seem to be adjusting with normal bumps along the way.  She has so much joy in her and we are so blessed that she is part of our lives now.

Back Home!

I'm sorry it's been a few days since I have updated my blog.  My head has been in a fog since coming home on Friday.  Our last day in Guangzhou was uneventful.  It was another rainy day, so we took our time at our last breakfast, knowing we wouldn't eat like that again for a long time.  The buffets were everything that I had read about and lived up to expectations.  We then took a taxi to a mall that had a Walmart in it.  Once again, it was loud and hot so we didn't stay long. We got Milli's visa about 4:30pm, which as we found out later, was very lucky.  The families that had appointments on Thursday, ended up having to stay several extra days due to a computer problem.  I can't even imagine doing that.  We were so ready to leave at that point.  A van picked us up at 4:30 and drove us to Hong Kong.  It was a miracle we made it there in one piece.  Our driver was on some kind of mission to make it in record time, and talk on the phone the entire time too.  I couldn't even watch after a while.  We drove into Hong Kong at sunset.  From what I could tell, it looked amazing.  I'd like to visit there again some day.  Our hotel was very close to the airport, so we were only there 12 hours.  It was Milli's third hotel in the short time we had her.  I can't imagine what was going through her mind.  We had the 11:10 flight the next morning.  Milli was very scared at the airport so I had to carry her the entire time. We arrived 2 1/2 hours before our flight, and we made it to the gate only 20 minutes prior to boarding. There were so many lines and checks and escalators, and a tram ride thrown in there.  We then had to get in yet another long line to board.  It just seemed so chaotic there.  We had pretty good seats in the back, except we were seated by a very loud group of nonAmerican people with a couple of loud children.  We were then told our flight was delayed.  After 2 hours of waiting, we finally took off.  Those 2 extra hours on a 14 1/2 hour flight did us in.  The kids actually did well. John and I couldn't sleep because of the people around us talked loudly and people would just come in the back area and talk like it was happy hour.  It was totally annoying.  I was praying so hard for turbulence so they would be forced to sit in their seats.  We then landed and went through immigration, and Milli became a US citizen.  We arrived home 22 hours after leaving the hotel in Hong Kong.  My sisters were there to greet us with food, gifts, decorations, and love.  Our neighbor/friend also made a big poster and dropped off gifts for Milli.  Milli actually did great and was having so much fun with the balloons, and being her charming self.  She loved opening her gifts and did not appear to be overwhelmed.  She did keep calling my sister Barb, mama, and let her pick her up. She must have sensed we were family.  My nieces came later and Milli loved them too.This past weekend is pretty much a blur. I know I got up with the kids at 1 am on Saturday and started unpacking and doing laundry.  We tried to go back to bed later before sunrise, but was unsuccessful.  Sunday wasn't better for Gus who got up at 1am. I stayed with Milli and we have been getting up around 5 am. Gus then slept 14 hours Sunday night.  John is not doing well with sleep, and now he's back at work.  Hopefully we will  be better by the weekend.
Milli has been doing well overall. She was terrified of the dogs on Friday, but is giving them treats now and gave Gracie the first kiss yesterday. (I didn't get a kiss until today) She loves the cats, more than they love her. She is having unexpected moments of crying and looking far away. She gets this way at bedtime, waking up, when she's scared, and when I pay attention to Gus too much.  It's hard now that John is back at work and there's only one of  me.  I know it will take time to adjust.  I am praying for patience on my part dealing with her mood swings. I am so proud of her to have done as well as she has. Of course, as her mother, I never want her to be sad, but I know she has to grieve. I pray that this won't last long. She has such a joyful nature about her and loves to laugh.  I can't wait to be able to communicate better with her.  She learns more from John than me.  He has taught her how to say her formal name, laughing everytime she says it.  It was hysterical listening to her try to say Hintermeister.  She also does a fist bump with him, wink, and can sing some of Take Me Out to the BallGame.  She definitely shows off for him.  She still doesn't totally trust him to comfort her, but she did give him a kiss today.  She is making progress.  I can't wait to see what she's like in one month from now. I'm just happy to be home.

Last Day!

We are getting ready to leave for Hong Kong.  It's our last full day in China. It's been raining all morning.  We went to Walmart and the adjoining mall, but it was loud and hot.  It's been hard shopping here so I don't have much to bring home with me.  Milli is doing fine.  She wants to be held a lot so it's hard to pack. She's on my lap right now while I'm typing.  She also likes to take things out I have already packed.  She took John's wallet this morning and her shorts that she was supposed to wear today.  She's just like her big brother used to be.  The van is picking us up from the hotel at 4:30pm and it will take 3 hours to get to our hotel in Hong Kong that is by the airport.  The hotel has a shuttle.  We will only  be there 12 hours.  Then it's a 14 1/2 hours flight home.  We are ready to go and start our new life with Milli.  .  The trip went much smoother than expected, but it seemed like a very long time to be away.  Gus  said he wanted to stay longer so I'm assuming he had a good time.  John was ready to leave 5 days ago.  I have mixed feelings since I don't know when or if I'll ever be back.  I'm hoping Milli is looking forward to seeing her new home, her own bedroom and pets, and her new family and friends.

Thanks for all the emails and comments along the way.  Hope you enjoyed the ride!
All our love,
The Hintermeisters

Last Days in Guangzhou

My Birthday and Consulate Appointment

It rained all day yesterday because of the typhoon.  We did not get to go to the zoo, which was disappointing.  I wanted to see Panda Bears and feed the giraffes. I probably would have just felt sorry for the animals anyway.  We ended up just meeting up with people from our group off and on all day.  We are all bored and wanting to go home.  It's been two weeks today that we left, and it feels like an eternity ago.  One of the teenagers from the big group brought her guitar and sang for the kids and they sang Happy Birthday to me. The hotel brought up a cake for us.  The best part of my day was when Milli lifted her hands up to me and gave me a hug.  She did this for the first time outside of swimming and did it multiple times.  It was priceless.  We tried to go to a small market to buy some gifts next to the hotel but the people were very aggressive in trying to get us to buy things.  So we just left empty handed.  You have to take a taxi to other shopping centers, and with the rain, it's not been worth it.  We ended up going to an Irish Pub for dinner with some people in our group.  The food was good except for John's hamburger was raw, even when he sent it back and got a new one. Needless to say, he did not eat it.  . But he was happy with the Heineken and fries.  He has turned into a vegetarian here because he is afraid of the meat.  Milli ate so much I had to unbutton the top snap on her shorts because her belly was so distended. Today was our big day at the American Consulate where we took the oath. It did not take very long and our paperwork was all good.  We will get Milli's visa tomorrow, and she will become an American citizen when we land in Chicago.  I became a little emotional thinking about her becoming an American.  It means so much to me.  I hope she will appreciate it when she is older.  I think life here in China is harder.  If she does chose to come back here for whatever reason, I would never stop her, but at least she will have a choice.
We have group pictures this afternoon. We leave for Hong Kong tomorrow at 4:30pm, and will fly out on Friday morning.  Right now we are trying to pass the time.  Luckily we have the best little girl who is happy and patient and so very easy to take care of.  Gus on the other hand........

Spending Time in Guangzhou

The Homestretch

We have been keeping busy here at the hotel.  The only adoption thing we had to do was to get Milli's TB test read today, which didn't take very long.  So we have had time to relax.  John is getting bored and frustrated at the length of this process.  You would think it could be streamlined a little.  Milli and Gus are enjoying the swimming pool, and we have visited a very large park across from the hotel a couple times.  The kids (mainly Gus) only last about an hour of walking in the heat and humidity.  We also had dinner with our big group last night and were able to see every one's newly adopted children.  It reminded me of the whole reason we are here.  To bring home children to give them a chance at a better life.  It's mostly children with special needs who definitely will benefit from all the therapies and advances in medicine that our country has to offer.  Being here, makes me appreciate things at home even more.  I am also very appreciative of the fact that Milli seems to be fine in mind, body, and spirit.  God really protected her these last 5 years of her life.  I cannot wait for everyone to meet her. 
Milli had her first taste of Mexican food tonight at a place called Tekila's.  She liked the chips and pico like her mom. It was the one food I have been craving. She also was eating the ketchup from the french fries with a spoon, before we took it away from her.  It was in a bowl so I can see why she thought is was soup. She still continues to eat whatever we give her. She has a big belly with skinny little arms and legs, just like her Grandma Dorothy. She also loves to laugh like her too.
We are supposed to visit the local zoo tomorrow, but there is a typhoon hitting the southern part of the province tomorrow, so it is tentative for now.  Only 4 more days until we are home!

Last Day in Hefei, Visa Physical, Milli's First Swim, Shamian Island

Loving Guangzhou!!

We had an uneventful morning in Hefei yesterday.  We were ready to leave the smoke, pollution, honking, the hectic pace, and the life threatening walks to Walmart or anywhere else for that matter.  If Milli wants to visit her province when she's older, we will have to find somewhere else to stay.  We got Milli's passport and left for the airport in the afternoon.  We had a funny/tense experience going through security.  They thought Milli's backpack (the cute little green non-threatening one) had a knife in it.  I don't know if I mentioned this before, but she is kind of a pack rat and a little bit of a thief.  She puts everything into her backpack, including three small coffee spoons from the hotel.  She preferred to eat with those so I let her.  Anyway, we didn't think she had a knife, we are not that bad of parents to let her play with sharp objects, but security dumped out everything on the table.  I wish I could have photographed it but John was very tense.  I was laughing at the absurdity of it, and made some kind of comment about not knowing our daughter was a terrorist.  John was not happy about that. Of course they never found a knife and we were able to pack all of her belongings back in and go on our way. We then made it to the gate in plenty of time and about 10 minutes prior to boarding, they changed our gate marquee to a different flight number and destination.  We panicked just a little because there were no announcements about our flight.  We finally found someone who spoke English and were told our gate was changed.  We then had to go to the first level, board a bus packed with people and it drove us to our plane.  It was a little stressful for Milli's first flight.  She was happy to get to her seat, but started to get motion sickness a little after take off.  When she stops accepting food, you know she's ill.  This girl normally does not turn down any food I have given her except for cantaloupe.  Luckily she kept her food down, and when we arrived at the airport and got our luggage, we had no guide to meet us.  It was after 7 pm and the kids were tired, and I was not too happy.  Trying to find someone to ask where else the guide might be was difficult and led us in the wrong direction.  We then had to figure out how to make a phone call to our guide.  John was able to ask someone about that and had to buy a special card to put in the pay phone.  It was good practice for when John and I do the Amazing Race.  Evidently, when the office in Hefei changed us to an earlier flight, they didn't tell our Guangzhou guide.  When we got in touch with her, she was surprised we were there and told us it would take 40 minutes to get there.  She said it would be too difficult to get a taxi to our hotel so we went to Kentucky Fried Chicken, ate more french fries(maintaining our one order of fries a day average), until our guide picked us up.  We made it to the China Hotel around 9:30.  Gus had passed out in the van ride here, stumbled into the hotel like he was drunk, while Milli was her usual quiet cheerful self.  The hotel is so much nicer, one of the nicest I've ever stayed at, and I no longer have to smell smoke 24 hours a day. We had a great breakfast at their enormous breakfast buffet this morning.  I then took Milli for her visa physical.  I had Gus stay back with John because Gus is still fighting a cold, which I now have, and didn't want to let him be exposed to any more diseases.  Milli did not like the doctor and cried when she laid down for the physical. She also cried for the TB test.  She is like her mom and does not like doctors or needles.  I'm sure it has something to do with when she had open heart surgery as a baby.  I have no excuse for my fear. An adoptive mother we met at the hotel today, has one year old son she just adopted two weeks ago that had to have emergency open heart surgery before they were able to leave for home. She said they tie down the babies so they won't tear out the tubes and do not let the parents in to hold them (not that Milli had any parent with her for her surgery).  I'm sure this has something to do with her fear. Poor baby. But after that we had a great afternoon at the pool.  She was tentative at first but then I couldn't get her out.  I loved holding her and watching her laugh and splash in the water.  We then went to Lucy's Restaurant at ShaMien Island for dinner, which was good, and bought Milli new pink shoes. She would not give up her orphanage worn out flip flops until we found her some traditional pink shoes/slippers.  We also bought her a doll supposedly from her province, but we are not totally convinced.  We were followed very closely in all the stores we went in.  I'm not sure if they thought we were going to steal something or what.  They are also very pushy to sell you something.  We have a free day tomorrow. We are missing home but are finally enjoying ourselves here in Guangzhou.

Visit With Orphanage Kids, Finding Place, Orphanage, Leaving Orphanage

Orphanage Visit

Today we drove about 2 hours away to Bengbu where Milli's orphanage is.  On the way there she started to cry.  Our guide could not tell us why. We were afraid that she either missed everyone at the orphanage and wanted to go back or she didn't want to go at all.  We pulled over at a rest area, just like the ones in the states, and they tried to talk to her again.  Our driver thought she was afraid we were going to leave her.  Since I didn't know what was going on in her mind, I decided we should still go.  We met some of the orphanage staff and children at an amusement park they are working on.  The owner of the park invited the orphanage kids for free that day.  When the kids showed up, she didn't want anything to do with them or the orphanage workers.  I felt so bad, because there was one girl crying and trying to say good bye to her.  We took some pictures, and then left quickly.  Her entire demeanor changed and she was holding  my hand and smiling. She was so happy.  Words cannot describe how I felt at that moment where I knew in my heart that she wanted us. And that's after 3 days.  We then went to the site where she was abandoned.  It was in a busy area and a little scary.  We took a family picture there, where she left her first family and will now be forever in ours.  I wish I could let her biological parents know how well she is doing and that she had the surgery she needed.  And what a beautiful child she is and how much they missed out on.  I have no anger towards them.  We were told they most likely could not afford that surgery.  I am certain they loved her.  After that, we went to the orphanage.  It was my first visit to one ever, so I have nothing to compare it with.  It was set inside many tall buildings with courtyards surrounding it, almost like a high rise condo.   Her floor was on the 3rd level.  It was very clean, air conditioned.  There were a few rooms that had toys in it and a piano.  They showed us every room and didn't hide anything.  We just couldn't take pictures in the newborn room.  So many many caregivers came up to her and hugged her, squeezed her little chubby cheeks, and spoke with her.  They seemed to be so loving, for which I am so grateful.  Milli was happy to show us all the rooms, but was very quiet when anyone spoke to her.  I'm sure she loved them but was feeling conflicted about everything.  She showed us where she ate and her bed. The orphanage director met with us and answered all our questions.  It was a very emotional day for all of us.  I pray that all of those children find a loving home someday.
On our way back to the hotel, Milli got car sick and vomited right when we pulled up to the hotel. I just threw out her blanket and shirt that got most of it. We leave for Guangzhou tomorrow.  We can't wait for another adventure in China. I hope Milli likes flying more than her father.

Milli's Birthday, Gus' Lost Tooth

Happy 5th Birthday Milli!!

If you have heard me talking about the adoption over the last couple months, then you would know how important it was to me to be with my daughter for her 5th birthday.  I did not want this child to have another birthday without her parents.  So with God's blessing, we made it here in time.  We tried not to overdo it and keep it simple, but I think she knew.  We gave her a little gift this morning and sang to her.  Of course she just laughed at our really bad American singing.  The hotel then sent a cake to the room this afternoon.  We were told that cake is her favorite food, and she definitely loved it.  She put up a peace sign symbol which I am not sure what the significance of that is. I'll have to ask someone tomorrow.  For dinner, we went to Pizza Hut where she had her first piece of pizza.  She eats anything and did like it. She continues to do well, except she was sad again at bedtime.  Our guide said this was  normal, because in this culture they are taught to be brave during the day and then their emotions come out when they are tired.  I'm sure she is just grieving, which is normal.  We are visiting the orphanage tomorrow.  We had the guide explain to her what we were going to do and Milli was fine with it.  We will see.  I think it's important to know where our daughter spent the first 5 years of her life.  We will also visit the place where she was abandoned.  I expect it to be emotional for all of us.
My other child, Gus, picked up a cold and was a little irritable today. He also lost a tooth.  The cake was the highlight of his day too. I'm praying he feels better tomorrow and that the rest of us do not get sick.  Our guide said you do not want to go to a hospital here.  That's scary.

Views From Our Room, Our Hotel-The Haze is Real, Not the Exposure

First Rabbit Ears, First Family Pic, First Hair Acces. by BaBa, First shower

It's Official. YaZhi is a Hintermeister

Milli slept well last night, but woke up with a little whimpering.  I quickly got her out of the bed and comforted her and she was fine.  She recovers so quickly to whatever makes her unhappy.  We went this morning to the civil affairs office where the adoption was finalized, the same building as yesterday.  She was very reluctant to go and her whole demeanor changed from being happy to totally scared. Her orphanage caregiver came in and she would not even smile at her.  I hope that means she wants to stay with us.  She has no choice now.   The adoption took place in an old room at a desk of a young man that processed the paperwork.  Our guide asked us a few questions and swear that we would always love her, never abandoned her, or abuse her.  Then she was ours. I guess I was expecting something more formal at a courthouse or something.  No matter what the process, the fact that God chose us to raise this beautiful child is so much more than any event could ever represent.
After that we went back to the hotel. Milli likes being in the room playing with her things.  We did wander out of the hotel in the afternoon to go to Walmart and find food.  This area is a little hostile and the traffic is scary, besides the scenery being dismal.  I was walking with Milli in one hand and Gus on the other side and a woman came at us, removed my hand from Milli's and walked right through us.  I didn't know what was happening.  She could have walked around Milli but she decided to go right through us.  I was and still am so angry about it. That never would have happened in America.  I'm so glad Milli gets to grow up there.  I know we have our share of problems, but it's paradise compared to here.  The people here are so pushy, would run you over with their car or scooter in a heartbeat, and are not friendly.  We have met just a handful a nice people at the hotel.  I don't even want to leave the hotel tomorrow on Milli's birthday.  Even the park down the street was scary with garbage and homeless people sleeping on benches in the middle of the day.  We cannot wait to go to Guangzhou on Friday. 
Fortunately, Milli continues to do great.  She is laughing even more. She eats like a trooper. Gave me no problems with taking a shower.  Is potty trained.  The only issue is that she will not brush her teeth. (Sorry Barb)  They don't do that in the orphanage.  I can't wait to take her to the dentist.  Our guide said to wait to teach her until we get home, but I will keep trying. She did cry again at bedtime but for only a very short time. I sat on a chair next to her and stayed with her until she fell asleep. She's been pretty easy.  I hope that this continues, but expecting it not to.

Gotcha Day Pictures